Acceptance
by Gail Cregg
Summary: As Ziva watches their daughter she thinks about her life and choosing to keep Tali from Tony. Set before Family First.


_AN. All Hebrew is from the internet. _

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"_Dizabin abba bitrei zuzei, bitrei zuzei...chad gadya, chad gadya..."_ Ziva sings softly as she gently strokes her daughter's hair. Reaching the end of the song for what seems like the millionth time that day she pauses. When there is no whispered request for her to sing it again she carefully eases herself from the bed then slumps with a sigh into the comfortable chair next to it. As she has done on so many nights she sits and watches Tali sleep as her own mind begins to wander.

Following an exhausting day of running around the playground (after a long drive from their isolated farmhouse), a trip to the shops and some more running around the olive grove on their return Tali is finally asleep clutching kelev to her chest. Ziva had tried to put her down for an afternoon nap but with a two year old's stubbornness (or a touch of her mother's) she just would not settle no matter how many stories her Ima read. She now sleeps the deep sleep of the innocent. Ziva hopes her daughter's rest is filled with dreams unlike the nightmarish monsters that some nights still populate her own.

Ziva finds her thoughts turning to the conversation she'd had last week with Orli. They had connected through their grief at Eli's death and over time have become friends. Elbaz is one of the few people aware of Tali's parentage and had again been trying to convince Ziva to tell Tony of her existence. If they had each not come to highly value the other's friendship it might have become an argument. The same views repeated as they often had both before and especially just after the birth.

At the farmhouse she had eventually been able to reach a degree of what others might call an 'inner peace.' Though they would always be a part of her the wounds of the past had started to heal, the nightmares starting to be replaced by dreams of happier times. Trips to the forest with Ari and her father. Listening to the opera with Tali. Rivka teaching her to drive. Her uncle teaching her to ride a horse. Eli teaching her to catch a baseball. Skills she looks forward to sharing with Tali one day. She had stopped running from her past, accepted it and begun to look to the future.

So when she had found out she was pregnant it had seemed scary, wonderful and simply _right_. Of course the big question had been if she should tell Tony. Orli had argued that after everything they had been through together he should be told. That with Ziva's history in Mossad and lack of family Tali would need two parents in case anything ever happened to her mother. She'd also put the view that sharing the parenting would be easier on the new parent than going solo.

Stronger then than when she'd sent DiNozzo away Ziva had scoffed at the notion that she'd not be able to cope on her own. So much of Tony's life had been disrupted by hers. He'd nearly been killed by Rivkin, traveled all the way to Somalia to confirm or avenge (depending on who you asked) her death, subjected to an interrogation by Eli, had her six at work and even tracked her to Israel to make sure she was okay after the killing of Bodnar with all its subsequent drama. He had done so much...perhaps too much for her. This was something she could do_ for_ him. She could give him his life back. Something she could not do for Dina Bashir. She could not bring Ari back. Could not give her friend the life Dena had wanted but Tony could now have a chance. Away from her, away from being a parent, sharing a child with her he would be free. Could make his own choices.

She knew he would miss her. Miss what they had shared. The closeness. The trust. The feeling of safety she'd felt with no other man since her father in her childhood and sometimes Gibbs too. In her heart she knew Tony would struggle at first. This had pained her though she knew that everyone at NCIS would do all they could to help. Eventually he would move on. Find someone more deserving of his love. He would be okay and she would too. She would do it for her. She would do it for Tali.

"Ima. Ima."

Her eyes snap open. "I'm here' she whispers. "I'm here." She quietly lies on the bed and Tali rolls over to lean against her. "I'm here." They fall asleep snuggled together.


End file.
